Chapter 1: How to Leave a Cult

At 4:30 a.m. the decision awoke me: should I stay or should I go. Since my husband’s research led him to esotericfreedom.com, we had several talks. The website presented evidence that my precious “Tuesday/Thursday thing” (otherwise known simply as “school”) was, in fact, a cult and not the legitimate “fourth-way” school it presents to be.

We had been calling my bi-weekly disappearing act “Tuesday/Thursday Thing”. For five years, I dedicated almost every Tuesday and Thursday night to thing, where I joined others to practice “tai chi”, or “body work”  (a flailing free-for-all), discuss philosophy and ideas and get “help” from “teachers”.

School had presented as though rooted to the philosophical work of Russian mystic/teacher George Gurdjieff  (although neglecting to mention Gurdjieff). Chris’ research revealed that “school” grew from a cult sprouted out of San Francisco, during the seventies (the decade that brought us Jim Jones and “don’t drink the Kool Aid”). A sociopath named Alex Horn cleverly posed this cult as the “Theatre of all Possibilities”. In 1978, roughly a month after the Jim Jones tragedy, two newspapers — The San Francisco Chronicle and The San Francisco Progress —  published a series of articles exposing this “theater” as an abusive cult. Horn’s victims alleged rape, beatings and child abuse. The “theater” disappeared only to reappear some time later in New York, and branch out to Boston: planet academia. Click here to read one of these articles.

In attempts to be invisible, but simultaneously appeal to the studious seeker, the Boston branch juggled a variety of names over the years, including the Odyssey Study Group. Eventually it landed on simply “school”. My husband’s online investigation led him to my checkbook ledger where he found the initials O.S.G and the documented $350 monthly “tuition”. He confronted me: What is Odyssey Study Group? I didn’t know. I had never asked the simple question: what does O.S.G stand for? “Why not?” Chris persisted. I didn’t know.  He pointed out that I’d been depressed and losing faith in myself, and asked me, “Are you sure you are not being manipulated into staying?”

I had considered leaving before, but would inevitably conclude that I had never seen anything malevolent; school had helped me become a stronger and more capable woman, demanding more from me. I was convinced that I wouldn’t have my marriage and my home, if not for school. And although I had witnessed red-flag moments, I never saw physical or sexual violence. But I had become blind to a more insidious damage – a wearing away at one’s own ability to think, question and trust his/her thoughts, feelings and instinct; so I was also blind to the information he presented.

I told him that when broaching the topic of leaving — which I’d done a few times — our  leader, Robert, had responded, “You are a FREE woman; you can leave any time.” And it is true that the he had said exactly that; It is also true that over time school dismisses a student’s individual experience, ideas and opinions as though swatting away flies, presenting its “ideas” and “help” as “principle”. I was losing faith in myself as a woman who could function in the world without it. In essence, losing trust in oneself amounts to an invisible imprisonment.

I had joined school for selfish reasons, really. I was not wondering about universal truths; I was not thinking about spiritual evolution; I wanted a better life. I wished for a purposeful and meaningful existence. Besides that, I was single, brokenhearted, broke and lonely; I was 40 and “changing careers” — again. I was renting a room from a friend. I had nothing of my own, really. School promised new possibilities. School brought me hope.

Five years later, hope was waning, almost gone, really; but the emotional wearing down had set into my bones and I’d learned well not to trust myself – school tells its students repeatedly, “We don’t know ourselves.” And – as in everything “taught” in school — there is some truth to that claim. School co-opts and twists this truth to its own purposes – otherwise known as its “aim”, but when indoctrinated enough one becomes blind and deaf to the twisting, or believes it best.

During one of our several conversation, Chris had said, “It doesn’t matter what I say,” he was resigned that I was in for life. At the time, we were walking the path in the Ipswich River Park. “ I already know what your answer will be.”

I responded, “No. You don’t know what my answer will be.”

Neither did I.

I rose from under the covers – it was still dark; I threw on sweats, and walked to that same path. I circled it, watched the sunrise and consulted the sky, God, my deceased father and myself. Clarity dawned when the sun graced the horizon, hanging just above the trees:

1)    I was staying in school out of fear. My life might fall apart if I “cut myself off from source”. Robert had insidiously proliferated the idea of “school” as source. I had bought it. That morning, I said to myself, “I can’t continue to live out of fear. If my life spirals down into the abyss of hell, due to not being in school, so be it. At least the decision will be my own.”

2)    In that moment, I made my own decision for the first time in five years. During my tenure, I had started asking for “help” on almost everything.  But this decision had to be mine; there was no one to consult. “Teachers” clearly had an allegiance to “school”. School makes a distinction between it and “life”, placing school on a “higher order”, and if “life” things threaten the institution — believe me – teachers dole out a different variety of “help”.

No one but my husband knew about “school”. It would be time consuming and difficult to explain. Until he had found esotericfreedom.com, he knew little more than I would disappear on Tuesday and Thursday nights to attend “thing” and that every holiday season, I would be ridiculously busy with the “thing’s” Christmas Party. We would squeeze our holidays in at the last minute after “school’s” party was done.

My inner wisdom and my personal connection to God were also squeezed out. I abdicated my life decisions and responsibilities to “teachers”; in asking for “help” I was, in essence, asking their permission to live. Upon my initial encounter with this strange phenomenon, I had snapped on the shackles when asking my recruiter, Lisa, “How do I live?” In not so many words she responded: We will gladly tell you how to live. And they did. And it worked — until it didn’t.

As dawn broke, I had to turn the question inward: how do I want to live? Should I stay in this institution and continue to receive “instruction”? Or should I leave, make my own decisions, and risk more failure – all the knowledge, all the growth, the new life with family and house, etc, could disappear. I said to myself, “There is no one this earth that can tell you what is right for you. You have to decide alone.” In that moment, I reconnected to a source beyond anything constructed by humans. Ironically, the best gift I received from “school” came from my decision to leave.

3)  I asked myself, “If source is God, or universe, than is it not available to us everyday, everywhere and in everything? How dare Robert insinuate that “school” is source and play on our fears.”  I looked up to the sky, around at the trees, and said out loud, “Fuck Robert.” I awoke to the wrath I have towards that which is odious, manipulative and deceptive.

4)    The morning sun illuminated school as Plato’s Cave – the secret hideout in Billerica at the Old Faulkner Mills, shrouded in deception and secrecy. My “class” had discussed Plato’s cave. I realized that as Robert presented the story, and painted “life” as the cave, we slept through the fact that we were sitting in it. We lined up and faced the walls, watching shadows and believing them to be real; we followed the lead of the shadows, waiting for them to materialize into “evolution”.

And that is the way school operates; through pretty language, nodding to history, and the use of myth and metaphor our leader tells us, we will reshape you and your life into what “school” wants and needs – you – your energy and time – will be in service to school and its unrevealed “aim”. Robert’s presentation posits the external world as our jailor and “school” as our emancipator.  Believing him, as “freedom” sounded so appealing, we snapped on the shackles and awaited the evolution.

5)    Early in my school experience, Robert “taught” a parable: a shepherd hypnotizes his flock. He convinces them that the herding, sheering and slaughtering to follow will be for their own good. The sheep line up and putter to the slaughter – believing it best. We did follow him willingly, believing that we were being saved in the shearing. He lulled us to sleep while lecturing about “awakening”. Our spirits, open and trusting, played right into this deception. In the telling, he sheared, steered and prepared us for our “further evolution” into obedient, attendant and tuition-paying students.

6)    In that moment, the “help” I received from a “teacher” when confessing that my husband had read esotericfreedom.com revealed itself as a farce:

“Robert says you have to tell your husband to mind his own business.”

I finally woke up to the complete disregard for my husband, his experiences, school’s impact on him, my family and our relationship demonstrated by this piece of “help” — this “instruction”.

The late nights, and the lies (also known as “clever insincerity”) that students are instructed to tell their partners look like the behaviors of one having an affair.  Maybe that was the intent; after all, what secret “esoteric school” needs a pesky husband who would poke around on the Internet. Is that not too risky when school aims to be “the invisible world” of evolving and awakening men and women?

If one attends school long enough s/he will hear Robert say, “After all, if a man or woman is working on him/her self, any man (or woman) will do.” So the question loomed – what was the real intention behind the instruction, “Tell your husband to mind his own business.”? After leaving I learned about “school marriages” arranged by, and destroyed by, the New York branch, otherwise known as Queen Sharon, Robert’s “teacher”.  Ironically the best help I’d gotten to date from school was the instruction to “tell him to mind his own business.”; this clearly was his business.

7)    The decision to leave school led to another decision: No More Secrets .   “Schools” existence relies on a series of deceptions; it has created a moniker for the word lies:  “clever insincerity”. “Clever insincerity”, or lying, is justified by the teaching that all people lie most of the time. School does not point out that “clever insincerity” drives a wedge between the liar and his/her loved ones. I believed these “cleverly insincerties”  justified and my marriage magically immune from the wear and tear. Given years, relationships fall apart.  The morning sun revealed the present damage and potential for future damage. I woke up.

8)    Finally, it dawned on me that this “exclusive society” in which one is studying “sacred ideas” and “evolving” fed my vanity.  Yes, here I am – a woman struggling to AWAKEN amidst “sleeping humanity”. I am in the world, but not of the world, like Jesus, yes? The only problem is this: a “cleverly insincere” shepherd has hypnotized me and convinced me that this secret “esoteric school” is the “source” of freedom and the only way to manufacture a soul. If one is not “in school” one has not any possibility to evolve and embody a “soul”. Yes, folks, without “school” you are soul-less, empty, void and asleep.

Ironically, in order to be hypnotized this way, I embodied a special brand of sleep – a superior brand, apparently. Those poor soulless slobs who weren’t in school (the majority of humanity). In “school” this superiority is discouraged as “pride”. But – like so many other things about “school” – the subtext of feeling of superior is underscored and encouraged: we are – after all – men and women who are “working on themselves”, “awakening in a sleeping world” and, through our efforts, manufacturing souls.

So I freed myself from the silly charade and, in the words of Dar Williams, songstress, decided to:

“…go out and join the others; I am the others. And that’s not easy. As cool as I am, I want somebody who sees me.”

Chapter 2: How To Join a Cult


14 thoughts on “Chapter 1: How to Leave a Cult

  1. moishe3rd says:

    Very nice. And – not that you need this advice but – definitely trust in G-d.
    I have just come from the bris (ritual Covenant of circumcision) of my grandson, the first son of my daughter and son-in-law.
    Bob (Robert to you folk) was the Sandek (sort of like a “godfather,” but not really) at my first son’s bris. (My eldest son just had his third child, a daughter, not too long ago).
    I understand that you are newly freed from “School” and therefore, need to lay out the “evils” as clearly as you can. However, as time goes on, have some mercy – “rachmanus” – on Bob and poor Graves and even Sharon. These folk have “crystallized” (did they teach that concept in “School”?) into something un-malleable and possibly irredeemable.
    I remember a class once where Bob was theorizing that LSD and other drug experiences used up your “hydrogens” and it was possible that it didn’t matter how involved a person was in “the Work,” he may be irredeemable because of past drug use…
    That’s sad.
    And, it is sad that, most likely, Bob and Sharon (and Fred and whomever) are never going to change. Based on the Esoteric Freedom blog, they appear to be lost in some kind of Hell.

    However, unlike what you stated above vis a vis the “Theatre of All Possibilities,” it wasn’t always that way. I was with “School” back then and, it was rather exciting and very un-cult like, despite what the Examiner claimed. We discussed, in depth, for months, “Jim Jones” and what it meant to “drink the Kool-Aid.” Most “students” were on pretty high overdrive and we did a lot of very interesting stuff. The most common way that people left was to get kicked out. And, they were often discouraged from coming back. As an “older student,” I kicked out more than a few people. And, that was how both my wife and I left.
    So, whereas Alex might have well been a psycho; and Sharon might well be an insecure woman with delusions of grandeur; both they and Bob and the rest believed that what they were trying to do was, indeed, “The Work.”
    It sounds like at some point, they all became convinced that they were the Clever Magicians of Gurdjieff’s stories and the rest of their students were simply sheep. I don’t know.
    But, it is sad.
    I’d rather not – “let it be forgot; that once there was a spot; known, as….” Well, not the Crazy Cult it appears to be today.
    You should live and be well and have a speedy recovery!

    • Brad Usrur says:

      Moishe3rd said:
      “I was with “School” back then and, it was rather exciting and very un-cult like, despite what the Examiner claimed. We discussed, in depth, for months, “Jim Jones” and what it meant to “drink the Kool-Aid.” Most “students” were on pretty high overdrive and we did a lot of very interesting stuff.”

      Another commenter who was in the San Fran Branch, back in the day, responded:

      Interesting stuff like constant beatings or threats of beatings for not fulfilling ticket quotas– Sharon & Alex beating up or ordering other students to be beaten up– in the name of maintaining a “standard”– pressure to conform and not criticize the Manichean double bind that was the constant refrain.

      Not to say there also wasn’t interesting stuff– but you refuse to believe or acknowledge the constant physical and emotional abuse and control that was the lingua franca of the group. People who left being beaten, and threatened with having their throats cut. I shit you not, my friend–I have no need or use for overheated rhetoric — believe it or not and you’ve always chosen not–Happening when YOU were there. I’m not saying you saw it, because by the time you were in the “older group” much of the physical abuse was curtailed (probably due to the Examiner negative publicity).

      You have said the same things over and over again for years Moishe– ignoring the very dark and pathological side that was always present– if you wanted to look at it.

      “High overdrive”– anxiety and group hysteria more like it. But then again you’ve never attempted to see this group in the more mundane context of cult dynamics– you seem to dismiss any of the psychological literature or information that would cast any light on this almost textbook functioning of a cult.

      “they and Bob and the rest believed that what they were trying to do was, indeed, “The Work.”

      — you have no idea what Bob believed– the inane and sometimes stupefyingly dumb, manipulative abusive things he said and did– modeling his behavior on the “psycho” who was his “teacher”. Students being “guarded” at work in case they made a break for it– (they had left school but were still in the play).

      If you got something out of that psychic shit hole, good for you– unfortunately it never helped you break through your facile, self-deluding rationalization and analysis of your time there. I mean get a fucking clue, pal.

  2. Hello Moishe3rd, Thanks for posting! It’s great to be in touch with someone who lived the history of “school” and knew Bob and Sharon back in the day. I have pondered with others recent departees whether Robert is just a cold con artist, or whether he truly believes that deception is necessary to do “the work”, or “evolve”. We all had mixed experiences in school and mixed experiences of him. It is great to get your perspective. I have a feeling my ex-classmates would be interested in this, too. Please feel free to chime in any time!

  3. moishe3rd says:

    Well… Thank you. My opinion that Bob and Sharon et al were not intentionally evil was a tad less well received over at Esoteric Freedom when I first wrote on that blog maybe 4 years ago…
    Because you seem interested, I tell you a bit more. Please tell me that you are not interested if I have somehow given you way too much information here…
    I was recruited into “School” (which I will continue to put into quotes as I do believe that it is a pretentious idea that Gurdjieff latched onto and was made even more pretentious by Alex and Sharon et al. Oddly enough, I have far less respect for Gurdjieff than I do for his imaginary students – Alex and Sharon. I do not believe that Gurdjieff was a good person. And, I could care less if he was a “conscious man.” Just my opinion… And, to contradict myself – I still love “In Search of the Miraculous” by Ouspensky.) in… 1978.
    Two guys sold me tickets to see “The Magician” at The Theater of All Possibilities.” Actually, one guy sold me the ticket. The other guy, when I told them I didn’t have the $20.00, wanted to move on.
    I traded a $30.00 (retail) handmade bulletin board for the $20.00 ticket with the guy who later became one of my best friends ever and, who I believe still credits “School” for getting him out of his alcoholism. The guy who wanted to walk away was an older student who had had his jaw (so I am told) busted by Alex and it was wired together at the time… He disappeared sometime in the next six months.
    Went to the Magician. Loved it. Got pitched on “School.” Sounded good. Signed up with Mike Hilsenrad (Sigh.. He played “Wolf” in the King Trilogy. A beautiful, kind and charming man; a nice Jewish boy; who left absolute destruction in his wake… Sigh…). Went to classes run by Bob and Fred. Met Alex and Sharon. Joined “The Magician” cast. Went to Montana. And did All and Everything.
    It was Great! Sold tickets (which was the equivalent of recruiting new students at the time). Stayed up night after night in classes with body work and psychodrama and intense discussions of “In Search of the Miraculous.” Worked at the Theater; in the plays; in the restaurant; night after night – picking up girls (also part of “recruiting new students.” Being encouraged to be sexual with women I had just met by “Teachers” of Ancient and Mystical Knowledge was quite a head trip!)
    Examiner articles came out. Alex ran. School disbanded. And, we disassembled the Theater.
    A “preschool” was started again by Bob and Fred by invitation for the “new students.”
    I had met my wife in class in the fall of ’78. When “School” disbanded in the Spring of ’79, we got engaged to be married in August.
    We got married; went on our honeymoon and, a month later we made the whimsical trek across country with the rest of our preschool buddies to Boston to join the “School” there.
    Bob became my friend; my upstairs neighbor; my adviser; my mentor; my occasional drinking buddy; my stern teacher; later my employer; the Sandek of our first son; and, a man who was occasionally wistful about his Jewishness when he would come to our Passover seder, which my wife always celebrated. (Later, we were to become Orthodox Jews precisely because “School” taught us to investigate the religion that we were born into – go whole hog and pay the postage).
    And, that’s quite enough for now. If you want more, I would be happy to write more. Or not.
    Be well.

  4. Hello Moishe3rd – It is really interesting to read about your experience. Your account corroborates with most other accounts I’ve read, especially the info on esoteric freedom.

    But what I keep thinking about is that Alex broke this guy’s jaw. Do you witness such violence during your tenure? Were Sharon and Robert witness to these acts?

    • moishe3rd says:

      No. Short answer.
      And, long answer – not really but –
      I have read about Alex and his ranch in the last ten years or so. I have no reason to doubt that he was violent and abused people and, that Bob was probably witness to all that.
      At the time, especially what I wrote above, I had no clue that anyone was particularly violent.
      Regarding the “older student” with the broken jaw – I was told that he fell down the stairs. Later, I heard that Alex “threw him” down the stairs. And, much later, it was theorized that Alex broke his jaw.
      For the 1st year of “School” or no school, except for Montana, we didn’t see much of Alex and Sharon – mostly in the theater and occasionally in “class” which was normally run by Bob or Fred or some other “older student.”
      In retrospect, I can see that Alex was emotionally abusive on whim, but I never witnessed any real violence by anybody.
      Sometimes, in “class” somebody (a “younger student”) might go a little nuts and throw chairs around or something. And, sometimes, over the years, the men were encouraged to get into fistfights… we trained in a boxing gym in San Francisco for awhile… But, we were all pretty much wusses and the two fist fights that I got into with a couple of my contemporaries and dear friends were a little painful but more like a friendly bar brawl than “violence.”
      Once, in Boston, Bob, being frustrated at us “older students” lack of ? whatever – recruitment or working on ourselves or ? – gave us a speech where he explained how he was taught that violence was a shock and then proceeded to slap a few of us – just once, across the face…
      And, Sharon would sometimes slap some woman who was “not working on herself properly.”
      I only saw Alex slap one person and, that person was me.
      We were in Montana, in the winter, playing football in the snow. As usual, Alex was haranguing us about… I don’t know – being sleeping wusses or something – and I was pissed off and I was standing there glaring at him when he just reached out and slapped me across the face, really hard, and said “I’m not your father!”
      He then proceeded with the game treating me no differently than anyone else.
      Now, as far as verifying things go – I can testify that that slap woke the Hell out of me. It blew my mind. This was before Bob slapped us and, although I had witnessed Sharon slap some different women, I had Never seen Alex so much as touch anyone.
      But, the experience was edifying and enlightening and opened up whole new thoughts about my father, of blessed memory. It “changed my being.”
      However, I never saw him do so again – and for awhile there – in Europe and Israel; as an “older student;” in Montana; etc. – I spent a lot of time with Alex.
      So, no, although I well believe that there was violence before Alex got together with Sharon; and that guy’s jaw was probably broken by something Alex did; and that Alex was someone who got pissed off when his “authority” was questioned – I suspect that he (or Sharon “made” him) swore off violence after the Examiner articles were published and he left SF.
      I don’t know.
      I have humorous memories of Sharon (not Alex) practically begging a few of us “older students” to go out and get into fist fights with strangers (not start them – but react aggressively to rude or insulting behavior). And, as I recall, none of us did.
      I remember one occasion where two of us were out recruiting in Harvard Square and a couple of brash tough guys “bumped us” as they were walking by; made some demeaning remark; and laughed at us. Both of us immediately turned around, eager to fulfill our “Teacher’s” instructions and went to the other two guys, got in their face and said “What did you say?!”
      One guy immediately apologized; told us his friend was drunk; they didn’t mean anything; they were really sorry; etc…
      Damn. I remember being disappointed but – really impressed at how “tough” we were.
      It makes me laugh as I think of it.

  5. Out and About says:

    You write:

    “If one is not “in school” one has not any possibility to evolve and embody a “soul”. Yes, folks, without “school” you are soul-less, empty, void and asleep.”

    I remember that doctrine–basically without “school” you are screwed for all eternity. It reminds me of the way so many religions mess with your mind–follow a certain set of rules or you will burn in hell forever.

  6. Hi Out and About, (good for you, btw!!!)

    Thanks for writing! It’s funny, I don’t remember whether any teacher blatantly said, “Without school, a man or woman has no possibility for a soul.” Other more indirect comments made that doctrine clear, though. I’m willing to take my chances. It seems that you are too. 😉 Here’s to a school-free, “soul-less” existence!

  7. Robert L. Gibbs says:

    For Hummingbird
    BINGO

    there’s no one to call
    though I have a ton of numbers
    and ears to listen

    no one who will tell me
    yes… tha’ts correct
    that’s what you should be doing

    I turn in every direction
    searching for affirmation
    approval to the choices I have made

    as if to avoid a mistake
    as if to get the right answers
    as if they would know

    but they don’t
    and they are not me

    another minute passes
    and turns to years
    and turns to regret

    and silence falls on the dreamer
    with only images in his head
    images of success
    that I may never reach
    if I do not realize

    the only reality… is me
    I have to walk alone now.. with… but yet without
    I am a part of you all

    but i must walk alone now… into the mystery
    of discovering the man I am inside
    that only my eyes can see
    that only my mind can reveal

    that only my faith… can find.
    3-8-98

    after the million miles we walk as followers
    the journey … Into…
    manifests the truth of peace

    the direction is inward

    The Great Spirit will find u there.. or visa versa… Robert G.

    • Thanks, Robert G, for the lovely poem! I keep thinking this: evolution is an inside job. x, o

      • Robert L. Gibbs says:

        YES… I beleive it is……
        just like cleaning house!
        We could in fact hire someone else… but its usually surface cleaning… just the dust that collects.
        But what of…. that which is creating the dust?
        and what of all the little detailed stuff?
        and the junk drawers?
        Who knows whats hiding in there?lol

        and if we have to go through all that trouble to write the chore list… that we will assign to another.
        Why not just do it yourself…?
        one by one by one…
        one step… then another…. then maybe three… towards self-sufficeincy…
        self-knowing…. and self-reliance….
        and then…
        maybe take a bath….
        and wash the exterior…. for everybody else.:) lol

        The mantra…
        I am a self cleaning oven! lol

  8. Circe says:

    Robert,
    You made me laugh!
    It made me remember that when we were doing some particularly horrible task at “school”: construction projects that lasted for days with no sleep; washing rocks at 4 AM; catering a hot meal for 120 people with no kitchen, etc. Someone would always say something like: we could have gone out and hired someone else to do this work but then we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to “work on ourselves”!

    Moishe 3rd:
    You made me remember that when someone was acting in a particularly ornery way and the “teachers” would use them as an example to the rest of us and then say: “If we didn’t have so-and-so to learn from we would have had to go out and hire someone like him (or her)”

  9. sam says:

    SO sick of this “Moishe”.guy..on EVERY gans site—- flat out saying ‘it wasnt that bad’….. I imagine going from one cult to the next would disallow anyone to see things from a clear, reality-based perspective…You need help Moishe—–.and not from another cult or cult leader …please….

    Something tells me that you use these sites to convince YOURSELF that it wasnt that bad..AND you are completely in denial about this experience- and oh… SO many others.
    Who is sicker than gans and horn? ..and the low-life”teachers” that help steal other’s lives? force abortions, pregnancies and adoptions? This entire “school” setup is about STEALING peoples wishes and desires, as well as “students” (victims) money and slave labor….. AND DESTROYING FAMILIES..for the sole purpose of money, power and gans’ Grand Delusion that she is a woman who is to be revered..All the while flat out lying to their victims about receiving “c influence.”

    Dont forget the violence and Rape as well.(read a little survivors handbook on line )
    EVERY Goddamned cult has something worthwhile about it…otherwise they wouldnt be able to keep anyone ! Iy is not something to reminisce about because you ‘think’ you escaped unscathed…

    The hook you bit on seems to have lodged pretty deep in your flesh …as obviously you are still one with it…. and you view the soul decapitation, brainwashing and emotional rape and torture as mere details that left you untouched…..Think Again.

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