Fairly recently, a commenter, who traversed the hollow halls in the 80s, provided some “school” information that was new to me. I plan on elevating her comments to blog prominence in the near future — so folks can glean as much illustrious context as possible.
Today, I wanted to address her mention of “school” dreams: “I still have these memories that just fly into my head, sometimes dreams haunted by Sharon or Bob, or where I’m trying to attend a meeting without making a commitment.”
I’ve heard others talk about “school” dreams: sinister, or anxiety-ladden, accounts of nightmares in which they are back in the group and trying to escape. I’ve had a few myself, over the years. It seems poignant that “school” haunts ex-members in their sleep for years after departure.
Some of you might appreciate my most recent “school” dream; it was — if you can believe it — satisfying! I was back in the “classroom” listening to Robert ream out & humiliate a fellow student. I witnessed quietly until he kicked her out. At which point, I stood up, announced that I would also be taking my leave and then turned, looked straight at him, and said, “Fuck you.”
Ahhhhh, that was sooooo cathartic! Maybe I was dreaming about the courage that I wish I’d had. Even so, dream, or reality, it felt great! And I guess it’s not too late. Blog Monitor, if you’re out there, feel free to pass on the message. Send Bobert a link to this particular post.
More importantly, lately, I’ve also been hearing from ex-members of different cults. I started wonder if all ex-cult members have such dreams. I’d like to know if this phenomenon is a shared experience. I’d love to hear from you, whether an ex-“school” mate, or experienced another cult.
Thanks for reading and happy Cult-free holidays!