A.k.a The Hope Market

Of the BITE model’s four categories, I found Emotional Control to be the most powerful.  Cults are emotional traps. Unmet emotional needs make intelligent people vulnerable. Cults leverage vulnerabilities, dangling promises of HOPE! If you take the bait, a switch will follow shortly.

When my “new friend”, i.e. master sales woman, Lisa, floated her bait, I was primed. Befuddled by life, I sought direction — “school” promised purpose. Brokenhearted, I sought connection — “school” provided community. Disheartened by empty and meaninglessness jobs — “school” offered possible fulfillment and direction. It whispered all of this promise in the “free five-week experiment!” Sign me up!

Eventually, free morphed into “paying for my arising” — $350/month.

Hassan writes: cult-style Emotional Control amounts to leveraging all-or-nothing thinking ” to manipulate and narrow the range of a person’s feelings …either you are a ‘chosen’ member of the elite … part of a wonderful movement; or you are broken, un-spiritual, have bad karma … are sinful … need to repent, try harder”.

My “5-week experiment” … oh, em, I mean indoctrination period… started with four other “classmates”. My new “essence friends” and I “set AIMs!” Enlightened “teachers” supported our “efforts”. We supported each other. We  read classic literature and discussed the human condition: Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde; The Shadow; Grimm’s Fairy Tales; Emerson; Thoreau, etc. etc. etc. The real literature — as opposed to creepy cult pamphlets (think Scientology) — gave “school” an air of legitimacy. Together we hungered to understand the world and humanity.

By experiment’s end, two disappeared, and two remained, a few others cycled through for a class not to return. “School” informed us that we who remained were the elite, intrepid, proven ones! Most sleepwalking humans can’t hack it, as proven by evaporating “classmates”. We were “ready!”

We graduated (cough) into the “older class”, where whispers of a phenomenon I call The Soul Factory bubbled, toiled and troubled (how “school” loves Shakespeare!). “School” insidiously steams the offensive “men and women are born soulless” nugget into minions. Only those “WILLING to do THE WORK” manufacture souls. The “un-schooled” (poor dears) are obliviously tripping down the road to perdition!

But, “school” claims, most men and woman don’t want to awaken! They may claim to seek enlightenment, but “they” aren’t “willing to do what it takes!” (cough, give up everything to the mysteriously-rarely-mentioned Queen & her $8million condo) Not really.

God knows, you don’t want to be one of “Them!”

Hassan writes, “Fear is used to bind the group members together in several ways…”

These two fear-inducing tactics may sound familiar to my fellow “disgruntled(s)” …

1)Creation of outside enemy (seeded in “youngest class” as illustrated above)
2)Terror of discovery and punishment by leadership if you fail, or shirk, your evolutionary duties.

The two tactics work together, hand in glove.

At one point, I asked Robert, about alternative methods of soul construction – a friend was trying Transcendental Mediation (known as simply TM to some, and just another cult to others; but that’s another Oprah). His face went dark; he struck with, “We are not here to judge your friend.” I felt a tingling heat prickle out from the center of my chest and spread into my face, which probably turned beet red. I didn’t realize I was “judging my friend!” Silly me, I thought I was asking a sincere question. Thank God my cult leader shed light on my inner trial judge!

After departing and uncovering the vast web of “school” lies  (see information control), I recognized the unexpected verbal lashing as the deflect-attention-from-legitimate-questions-onto-inquirer’s-questionable-character strategy; employed when students point out holes in “school” presentation. It shut me up, so it worked.

There must be a logical fallacy that covers the change-the-subject-by-attacking-your-opponent tactic (ad hominem, perhaps?). Presumptive Republican nominee, Donald Drumph, meets all criticism with character assassinations. It’s an effective strategy, right Robert? By the way, I’m so sorry I offended your cult sensibilities! I had no idea I was bringing up the competition! I believed that “school” was a school.

Many such character attacks bounce down the hallowed halls, when “students” ask legitimate questions, voice concerns, or complain about “school” demands. A FEAR of being called out started gnawing away at me. After all we were special (cough) men and women, solely RESPONSIBLE for humanities evolution! We’ve been called on to cultivate (cough) “finer vibrations” through “school”-required efforts! These waves of influence ripple out invisibly! and are the only hope for all mankind! Even “THEM!”, the un-“schooled”, deserve a chance! As a “school” cog, you either climbed the ladder “school”-style, or devolved into “THEM!”, with your self-will (horrors) at the helm. We must overcome laziness, lest we let down the world! Oh, and we also basked in the glow of our unmentioned, but glaringly apparent, self-congratulatory superiority.

With no in between, we became terrified of de-volving into “THEM!”. Thus we dreaded the shameful–but unavoidable–“maybe you’re not trying hard enough” accusation. Of course, cognitive dissonance — or my inner rebels, as I like to call them– started pointing out that many of “THEM!” seem to be doing quite well; in fact, the longer my tenure, the more my rebels pointed out the “THEM!”(s) whose “only-life” endeavors far exceeded mine – my ability to function in the world was – in fact – declining with “school’s” “help” (cough).

But GUILT stepped in to distract from the endless inconsistencies (too many to name here). As “school’s” enlightenment tasks increased over time, Robert lectured, “Man has a skewed relationship to time!” If a “student” foolishly said, “I didn’t have time to [name soul-construction-task-here]“, he would scoff! I learned quickly not to utter the phrase, “I didn’t have time to […]”. Better to either lie, or hide during “class discussions”.

Hiding proved the easiest option; other “students” seemed eager to step up and curry favor with reports of successful soul-building efforts, or sincerely ask “teachers” for “help”. All I had to do was remain quiet. The guilt that compounded was far more tolerable than the spotlight o’ shame. And, oddly, the “more evolved” never “sensed” when I was hiding, or lying. The guilt compounded more, further strengthening the compulsion to hide. So did the cognitive dissonance — why aren’t these highly evolved beings calling me out?

After leaving, and sinfully talking to other “disgruntled ex-students” (horrors!), I learned that almost every, if not all, “school” doobies lie about their soul manufacturing efforts (especially recruitment, because everyone hates it). My evolved “teachers” weren’t calling me out, because they were busy worrying that a more “evolved” someone might call them out (my compatriots will probably recognize the term internal considering).

Humans — I have learned — will avoid humiliation like this at all costs. The threat proved a powerful social engineering tool. Thus we gathered together to posture twice a week, plus. We few, we proud, diligently pretending to do THE WORK, while stewing in evolutionary guilt, and hoping that no one would notice. Ah, so inspiring!

After our bi-weekly posturing and hiding acts, we floated off silently into the night, honoring the required hour-of-silence (“seal yourself off from THEM!”)  to continue the pretense of “experimentation”. “School” requirements spun us all into evolutionary, soul-manufacturing, empty shells.

Simultaneously, a seemingly contradictory cult component gnawed away: Hassan writes, “Confession of past sins or wrong attitudes is also a powerful device for emotional control.”

All the academic cultic scholars that I’ve read discuss Robert J. Lifton’s Cult of Confession from his seminal work, Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism. Confessionals are part-in-parcel and “school” established them early: we shared our “self observations”, we “asked for ‘help'”, we did what school called “being work”, in which a “student” requests “help” from a “teacher” with a particularly troubling inner “weakness”.

Cults are nothing, if not ironic: as we hid, we also confessed sins and weaknesses. “School’s” was careful to extend more compassionate “help” to it’s “younger” minions. Thus we became accustomed to confessing our weaknesses and asking for “help”. For me, personally, “school’s” pretense of compassion fell away after my tenure passed year two. And once exposed to the “older class”, where verbal lashings were more common than compassion, I started hiding more and confessing less. For, as Hassan writes, “Anything you say can and will be used against you.”  

Over time, though, these “confessions” evolved into one-more-ironic pretense: an illustration of the extra “effort” a particular cog was putting into his/her evolution. The leadership would praise such “efforts”, and — surprise, surprise — would use the information in key moments; for example, if said cog contemplates departure, a “more-evolved” being should out a topic-o-confession and let ‘er rip! Confessions induce a cult-contrived paranoia that seems to grips ex-members long after they’ve departed. I will talk more about cult paranoia, specifically, in a future post.

Sane, “un-schooled”, readers probably wonder why this ever-growing exercise in emptiness did not expose the group as fraudulent, prompting me to scramble away at warp speed. And I have heard many reporters ask ex-cult members, i.e. whistle blowers, “Why didn’t you leave?” Most are hard-pressed to answer – complex and convoluted — no sound bite can capture and explain the decline of free will when in a cult coma and we are living in a superficial sound-bite world.

Additionally, it takes a lot of post-cult excavation to understand why ” … I didn’t just leave.” Humans have an amazing capacity for justification. And victim blame being the norm in today’s culture, most would prefer to shove their cult days into a dark closet and pretend it didn’t happen.

I’ll try to explain how cults leverage paranoia and fear. As the group  isolates you from all non-members, it spins you in a cult-induced insanity; the cult coma falls into three categories, that braid together and tighten into knots as years pass:

1) Addiction: you feel emotionally, spiritually and morally dependent on the group.
2) False belief: you believe that the group truly has a mission that will save humanity.
3) Isolation: you’ve burned bridges with “others!” and the cult morphs into family, friends, in some cases, work.

Sometimes my cult coma broke briefly, usually when “school” demands increased, stealing more of my lowly only-life time; especially when the make new friends! requirement rolled out. Resentment would perk up and say, “I didn’t sign up for this.”  I saw the deceptive presentation that drew me in initially — i.e. casual, bi-weekly discussion/philosophy group, offering tools for living, as opposed to the group’s true nature: rigid & secretive predatory cult, that demands increasing amounts of time, requires lies, isolates members from non-members, while charging $350 a month, til death do you part and demonizing all defectors.

But the more isolated I became, the worse I functioned. The worse I functioned, the more I needed to believe in the group pathos, doctrine, evolutionary order, or (cough) AIM! My life devolved as fear and dependency increased. The more dependent I felt, the more I justified the ever-growing inconsistencies, and abuses I witnessed. My inner rebels rumbled. The starry-eyed believers clung desperately to my early “school” days — so full of hope and wonder! Cult paranoia worked its magic — if I left, I would lose it all; some kind of annihilation loomed around every corner. And that, I believe, is why it’s so difficult to “Just leave”.

Thus cult cogs are nicely set up for the next component of Emotion Control;  Hassan writes: “In order to control someone through their emotions, feelings themselves often have to be redefined … loyalty and devotion are the most highly respected of all. Members are not allowed to feel or express negative emotions…”

All roads lead to my favorite! The Non-Expression of Negative Emotions, as discussed in previous posts. “Negative emotions aren’t real.” “School” taught us; You know – resentment, anger, aggravation, jealousy. Petty little feelings that induce more pettiness — embarrassment and shame. But — more importantly– those “not real” feelings, if one is paying attention, threaten to expose inconsistencies, abusive and manipulative practices, etc.  A good “school” cog should only feel a constant state of blissful gratitude! Perhaps some of the following be-a-good-cog directives will sound familiar:

” … internally consider, never; externally consider, always.”
” … be willing to take the dirty end of the stick.”
” … take the help.”

Thus, once you throw this next component in the stew, “school” has ya’, in classic cult style.

Hassan writes: “People are often kept off balance, praised one minute and tongue-lashed the next … this misuse of reward and punishment fosters dependency and helplessness.”

After enough time, a child-like wish to please my teachers started to drive me. Humans are hardwired this way; we have social needs: acceptance, approval and belonging. You see this in children who — for the most part — live to please their parents. These needs are also apparent in assisted livings and nursing homes. They don’t disappear over the years. They are at work in all kinds of social situations. Nothing cements social bonding like the reward and punishment cycle. Predatory groups feed on such needs.

Emotions are tricky devils, really; unmet, they make us vulnerable. They bring out the worst. But they can also be our better angels and our inner guardians, protectors. When I finally listened to my “non-expressed negative emotions” those allegedly “not real” feelings pointed to the very real fact that “school” was about to break up my marriage. Every day I thank God that I could not trade in my marriage for “school”-style enlightenment.

When I stood at the crossroads between “school” cog-ness and my marriage, I saw fear ruling my life for five years. My choice was to either continue living the fear-based, “school”-directed existence, or take a chance on myself — maybe I do know something. Maybe I don’t need other people to micromanage my life, and dictate personal choices.

The Rebels– those oh-so-pesky “not real” emotions — pointed out that my “school”-led life was devolving into a ridiculous scrambling. And if “The Source” didn’t care about my husband, it also didn’t give a rat’s ass about me. So I let go of all the pretense with its secrets and lies. Nothing has been more freeing. I hope all experience freedom innate in No-More-Secrets.

Emotional needs drew me in to “school”. Emotions also set me free. Today, my un-“schooled”-only-life-things have been going quite well, thank you very much (sorry to disappoint you, Blog Monitor; but it’s something you might want to consider for your life) Don’t trust institutions that feed dependence, dictates decisions, institute lies and isolationism.

I can thank the cult for the following: I am no longer befuddled by life, for I now have the direction and purpose: speak out against predatory groups, expose abusive practices, offer education and whatever else I can to help fellow “disgruntled(s)” heal from the strange and confusing psychological and social violence called cults.

So, here’s to No More Secrets and, if you’re here because you’ve been compelled to “break ‘school’ rules”, break more rules.

This post is the third installment plugging my “school” days into Steve Hassan’s BITE model, as outlined in his anti-cult book, Freedom of Mind.
So far, my “school” tenure fits the Behavior control component of this model. “School’s” Information control is classic cult stuff (congratulations, Blog Monitor!).

Today’s installment: Loaded language + Thought Stopping = Thought Control

Hassan writes, “Cult language is totalistic and therefore condenses complex situations, labels them and reduces them to cult cliches …”

“School’s” loaded language/vocabulary sprout from the following top–secret-but-not-really concepts: (please insert booming & arrogant voice here) “as we are, we don’t know ourselves“; “man is asleep“; “we are not unified beings, but multiplicities“ “we are here to REMEMBER OURSELVES“.

These ideas come from the studies of the neither-mysterious-nor-elusive-but-oddly-never-mentioned G.I. Gurdjieff, a 20th century Armenian philosopher, whose work was quite popular back the groovy 70s.

Self-Remembering! is where “school” kicks off. “We Are Here to REMEMBER OURSELVES!” Ah, so exclusive and magical! No one could define it. We needed to experiment! with “school” assignments in order to “… have our own experiences of self remembering!”. Approach THE WORK, “school” instructed us, with a “healthy skepticism and a nickel’s worth of trust.” (“school” neglected to mention its hidden interest rate).

The assignments appeared harmless enough. We began by recording “self observations” of our “3 centers”, a.k.a. “3 brains” — moving, intellectual, emotional. Throughout the day & night we were to write in little notebooks in this format: As a function of the [MOVING/INTELLECTUAL/EMOTIONAL CENTER] I observe [RECORD thought/feeling/action] when [DESCRIBE CONTEXT].

Funny thing … through “self observation”, I started feeling as though I could separate and free myself from my less-than-stellar thoughts and feelings … they could be seen as “functions”, not my identity. It was amazing! Sometimes my “observations” were very funny! Sometimes I felt as though I were writing a play, all the world’s a stage (ah, Shakespeare!) I enjoyed this experiment, at first. It was magic!

In my excitement, I kinda missed that these “experiments” parsed out, flattened, & categorized my essential identity. I accepted its deconstruction of my inner world — my thoughts, psychology and emotions as necessary soul manufacturing enlightenment tools. How could they possibly be destructive? My benevolent “school” of enlightenment would never intentionally hurt me … would it?

When one is in “school” long enough this parsing out –in particular the idea of Multiplicity — morphs into a convenient method of deflecting legitimate questions, shaming resistance to demands, and silencing criticism.

“Teachers” start responding to concerns such as, “Where does our tuition money go?” with the following convoluted and pat phrases: “which I is speaking”? Or broken down more, “which set of I(s) are speaking? Perhaps you are in a Lazy-set-of-I(s). I(s) that don’t want to do The Work. I(s) that are like JUDAS, trying to destroy the finer vibrations your are cultivating, by blindly following instruction. For If you want to construct a soul, you must do what  ‘it’ does not want to do.”

Note the answer-these-questions-with-non-answer strategy, because non-answers and character attacks slowly increase in prevalence in concert with the length of your tenure, as does the deconstruction and parsing out of one’s psychology. Please also note the dehumanizing application of the word “it”.

Hassan writes that totalistic cults pitch a doctrine that divides the world into either black or white, good or bad, us vs. them: “All that is good is embodied in the leader and the group. All that is bad is on the outside. The doctrine claims to answer all questions to all problems and situations. Members need not think for themselves because the doctrine does the thinking for them …” Cliches and exclusive vocabulary construct invisible walls between members and non-members. “The language helps to make members feel special and separates them from the general public.”

“School” isolation tactics slowly heat to a boil, saturating “students” in illustrious indoctrination over time. For roughly two years, I “experimented” with the above-mentioned “secret” ideas, doing what “school” called “first line of work – work on the self”. We were scientist – observing human nature! I was rising above myself and my life, watching, listening and recording observations. A sense of superiority simmered, bubbling through “school”: we are men and women who are “working on ourselves!”, “awakening!”, doing “THE WORK!” – blah, blah, blah, unlike the “others”.

This superiority became increasingly apparent as my tenure ticked past. At times I pitied those who “weren’t in ‘school'”. They didn’t have “the help” (cough) that I had. According to “school”, those of us in were attracted to the work by our “MAGNETIC CENTER”. Not everyone has MAGNETIC CENTER!

Conveniently, it also solidified “school’s” cultish hierarchy. “Teachers” have been “doing THE WORK! longer” and float above the rest of us. “Teachers” provided “second line of work  – work for others” through “help” for inferior beings. Robert was clearly the top dog and his “help” was the end all be all, not to be questioned! “Older students” &  “sustainers” were superior to the “younger class” (obviously) and the “youngest class” –the newbies– were almost hopeless.

The newbie “class” met separately for a time (for the 5-8 week experiment, depending), mainly with Robert (guess he had to suss them out, while he spun his magic). After dismissing newbies for the night, Robert would often come to the “older class” and complain about them. The poor dear, he would get so exhausted, trying to impart wisdom to those who were still so coarse in their vibrations. He would gaze at us adoringly and tell us what a relief it was to be around those who were “working on themselves”.  He would proudly remind us how far we’d come! Of course, even those almost-hopeless newbies were superior to the “unschooled”, the sleepwalking masses — those “NOT DOING THE WORK”. At least they had MAGNETIC CENTER!

It’s convenient for “school” –and all cults– to spin the “others” as inferior, coarse humans, because eventually “others” will  express concern about this weird group. Students begin to experience the coveted “school” “friction”, pitched by the group as “necessary for one’s arising”. When friends and family complain about the secret group that requires bi-weekly attendance, a “student’s” odd behavior, flat affect, change in personality, etc, and decreasing availability to (cough) “only life things”, “students” turn to the more highly evolved — “teachers” — for “Help”. Over time “help” morphs into pat phrases, that are applied to every single “student”, regardless of personality, or personal circumstance. Given enough time, personal won’t factor in to cult cog evolution. Perhaps the following pat phrases sound familiar to some of you:

“what do you wish for?”
“what is your AIM?”
“What does your husband/wife want? Find out and give it to him/her.”
“Your [husband/wife/friend/sibling/partner] is jealous that you are doing what you love!”
“Tell [him/her] that it’s none of [his/her] business.”

This “help” all leads to the heartwarming “When you’re working on yourself, any man or woman will do.” You can imagine what this “help” does to an  un-“schooled” marriage. Given a long enough tenure, “others” become obstacles to your “self remembering”. “Others” inconvenience the higher “aim”.  If they aren’t grateful for your non-presence and illustrious “efforts” and the accompanying neglect of family and friends, they are jealous and “don’t understand.” Oh, by the way, many  of the “older students” are secretly married to each other, or had been and are now divorced … read the School & Marriages post, for more info on that.

Cult vocabulary, Hassan writes,  ” …  also serves to confuse newcomers, who want to understand what members are talking about. The newbies think they merely have to study harder in order to understand the truth, which they believe is precisely expressed in this new language. In reality, though, loaded language helps them learn how to not think, or understand. They learn that ‘understanding’ means accepting and believing.” 

Loaded language, plus growing demands, plus increasing “friction” and growing conflict between the “student” and his/her “unschooled” friends and family, leads to a kind of “school”-propagated disorientation. “School” starts to pin the inevitable problems between the “schooled” and the “un-schooled” on the “student” – pat phrases like, “maybe you are putting out coarse vibrations”, “maybe you aren’t trying hard enough”, “are you sure that your perceptions are accurate?”, “which set of Is are speaking right now?” ring through the hallowed halls.

“Students”, of course, believing in the magic and the hierarchy, start thinking …” if only I tried harder, if my vibrations were fine enough”, “only-life” family & friends would be perfectly happy –elated even– about my soul-manufacturing efforts.”

If I got paid a dollar every time I heard an ex-cult members say “I thought I wasn’t trying hard enough. I believed I was failing”, I could probably earn back the $20,000 “school” bilked me out of when I was in my cult coma.

Cinching the deal, Hassan writes that “In order to be a good member, a person must learn to manipulate their own thought process … Thought stopping is the most direct way to short-circuit a person’s ability to test reality. Indeed if people are able to think only positive thoughts about their involvement with the group, they are most certainly stuck. Since the doctrine is perfect and the leader is perfect, any problem that crops up is assumed to be the fault of the individual member. They learn to blame themselves and simply work harder.”

All of this leads to my fav! “School’s” thought stopping and emotional constipation practice: “The Non-Expression of Negative Emotions”! Hurray, now I’m really evolving —  at the right time “school” requires its doobies to “non-express” both externally & internally. We few were, we proud (cough) were to refrain from voicing “complaints”, “criticisms”, “anger”, etc and we were to monitor our facial expressions and keep them from taking on a dark shadow, and our body language to ensure we weren’t communicating hostility, or taking on protective postures. “School” said that “non-expression” was “not suppression”. But none of the “highly-evolved” could, in fact, tell us what it was (if not suppression), or how to “not express” without suppressing.  I’m lucky that my inner rebels never let my starry-eyed believers completely buy into this exercise of self-induced insanity.

“School” needs cogs to distrust themselves; for certain illustrious abusive tactics start to surface when “school” has boiled you in doctrine oil for the correct amount of time. When top dogs deem “younger students” as ready, they graduate into the “older class”. At that point, a good cult cog justifies the group’s increasing dismissal of outside family, friends, interests, passions, job, insignificant “only-life things”. For all things “un-schooled” do not contribute to your inner development! Only with “school’s” “help” will you cultivate a soul – cult-ivate being the operative word. 

Once you’re in that psychological state, the group has taken your psyche hostage. Hassan writes that cults members “… become quite mechanical, because the person becomes programmed … when thought is controlled, feelings and behaviors are usually controlled, as well.”

In “school” you are thus prepared for: “third line of work”  … one must contribute to the group’s elusive higher purpose, if one really wants a soul! We are climbing a ladder to heaven together; each soldier must continue the journey, rung by rung … when one stops climbing all are affected/effected. Those who fall off the ladder endanger the group! hurt essence friends and leadership, let down God!

“School” positions third line of work such that the cogs feel eventually we will be contributing to world peace, ending hunger and poverty, stopping climate change. In reality, its only task, or AIM as “school” likes to call it, is recruitment, recruitment, recruitment! Go out and Make New Friends! Making New Friends conveniently devours time and energy from piddly “only life things”. Thus “school” cogs divorce un-schooled spouses, lose jobs, stop pursuing passions and interests, neglect children …

… They no longer have time for such trivial pursuits now.

Next week, Emotional control.

After leaving “school”, I started reading everything I could on cults, mind control & undue influence. The more I read, the more descriptions of “school” I saw – it was quite the wake-up call. The more the experts cast “school” under the cult light, the more my wracking cognitive dissonance disappeared: cults deceive and justify deception for the “higher cause”; cults deliberately confuse, obfuscate, demand secrecy, exactly like “school”.

My latest anti-cult read is the updated version of Combating Cult Mind Control. Author Steve Hassan’s BITE Model outlines four components of control: behavior, information, thought & emotion. In the next four posts, I will plug my tenure into his model and see if it fits. Today’s installment … BEHAVIOR!

Hassan writes … “Behavior control is the regulation of an individual’s physical reality …  control of where they live, what clothes they wear, what they eat, how much sleep they get, what jobs, rituals and other actions they perform …”

On first blush, “school” does not fit this model. I lived at home, with my husband and stepson. My “classmates” also lived with their families. They had normal jobs, friends, interests. “School” was not overtly telling me what to wear, or eat, when to sleep, when to wake. It looked benign, at first, benevolent even.

That is what is tricky & confusing about “school” — this cult has perfected the art of slow-growth indoctrination. It planted seeds in recruitment, when I was sharing my trials with my “new friend”, Lisa. When invited me to “try a … free five-week experiment!” the roots sprouted. They started crawling out with this requirement: “It’s very important that you don’t tell anyone about this … it’s private, just for you!”  The roots started extending and coiling with my bi-weekly attendance — every Tuesday and Thursday — in the “casual discussion group”. “Casual” morphed into rigid when specific rules of engagement, or non-engagement, dictating & shaping interactions and behaviors came into play. “School RULES” included …

• Observe ten minutes of meditative silence before “class” – no casual conversation with classmates.
• “No unnecessary talking” – “unnecessary” meaning anything beyond discussion of the “secret” (cough, but not really) “ideas”, or asking for “help” from “teachers” with “only life things.” Over time normal conversations were deemed “gossip.” (horrors)
  
• “No fraternization outside the hallowed halls” – do not engage with “essence friends” out “in life”. Pretend to be strangers to “protect the invisible world.”
  
• No Internet Research! You have all had your own experiences of “school”. Don’t poison them!
• Do not discuss “school” with only-life friends & family – again, protect the invisible world!

Note how all policies pointed to don’t speak, don’t think, keep secrets, don’t question, don’t freely converse. Note how all of them restrict interactions between “students”. “School” deemed these requirements “experiments” – indeed “school” “taught” that our lives were “experiments”. BUT all things “school” were beyond the beyond! You could not compare it to, or experience anything like it, anywhere else! Therefore our “essence friendships” needed to be “finer” than our not-so-evolved only-life relationships. They fell under a different and more refined set of rules.

When “students” questioned the secrecy and rigidity, “school” responded by saying, we are “experimenting” and to “…extend a nickels worth of trust, while maintaining a healthy skepticism”. That positioning made the required silence easier to swallow because it gave the illusion of choice and free will; we were “experimenting” in the spirit of “refining our vibrations”.  Oh, and by the way, our silence “protected the sanctity of THE WORK against those who would destroy it” — thus inducing the necessary “us vs. them” ideology typical of cults.

The longer my tenure, the more rules popped up. The weeds, lengthened, thickened & tangled. I accepted them and behaved accordingly. The more I followed “school rules”, the more they informed my psychology, vines  twisted around, snaking through my belief system like wisteria. By the time I “graduated” from the “free 5-week experiment”, a.k.a. “the youngest class”, into the “older class” –and tuition kicked in at $350/month — I’d accepted the following dictates as “necessary for my evolution”:

1. Arrive ten minutes early. Sit in meditative silence until a “teacher” announces “It’s time for tai chi” or “it’s time for body work”
2. Practice “tai chi”, or the flalling free-for-all known as “body work”, for 30 minutes.
3. Silently march to our seats to silently wait for “teachers” to arrive (“teachers” often delayed grand entrances  — thus increasing our anticipation as we observed “meditative silence” & “non-fraternized”).
4. “Discuss” “secret ideas” in “teacher”-orchestrated “conversations” —  i.e. “students” standing up & silently waiting to be called on, sorta like grade school.
5. “Observe 1 hour of silence” after “class” — to “seal yourself off“; “don’t leak!“

Any sharing of last names, occupations, phone numbers, email addresses, normal family stuff constituted “leaking!” — except when shared in the context of “class discussion” with proper “teacher” monitoring. In my cult coma, I didn’t notice how much “school” control had started leaking out of the hallowed halls and into my “only life things”: 

The sustainer — invisible meetings and phone calls between “classes” with this assigned “mentor”, allegedly put in place to support the “younger student”. Really “sustainers” are minders, responsible for “retainment”. “Sustainers” must do “whatever it takes” to insure that their mentees don’t notice that they are in a cult and decide to leave. More on this in the information control post.

 Assignments — “Teachers” dole out specific assignments, like any other school. The longer your tenure, the more evolutionary readings & tasks  to complete. At a certain point, I realized that there was never enough time to complete all the required assignments. 

The 5-week aim — “School’s” holy grail! Every 5 weeks, we “stated” “aims”, or goals, and we held each other to them. Over time, the phrase, “your AIM is your God” started echoing down the halls. “Students” who “didn’t make their AIMs” disappointed the group. And God. They endangered humanity! The longer my tenure, the more the “aims” served the higher cause (cough), “school” being the far more critical “soul-manufacturing” process than insignificant marriages, children, jobs, oh, and you can forget about piddly personal passions, dreams, ideas, etc. All must be shoved aside for “school”. 

Self sensing — every morning, as “school” cogs drift from sleep to wake, we were required to scan ourselves from head to toe, then sense the bed, the room, home,  lawn, neighborhood, town, state, country, continent, etc. etc. etc … all the way up to sensing the planet, as we rose above the earth, in spirit, and looked down from “the starry world”.

Morning prayer  — in coordination with self sensing, good doobies repeated this prayer: “Good morning, God – How can I serve you today?” Then we waited for the answer.

The creepiness of this “school” infiltration into my bed didn’t put a dent in my cult coma; I accepted these exercises as necessary for “refining my vibrations”. But, the truth is that I “failed” at “self sensing” & “the morning prayer” almost every morning & eventually I gave up. Both exercises felt contrived and I’ve never done contrived very well. Every morning, while attempting to “self-sense”, I fell back to sleep. God never answered my “morning prayer” — well, that is until the morning I asked God whether I should graduate myself. After leaving, I learned that many “essence friends” lied about their self-sensing/morning prayer efforts. One could curry favor easily by reporting “amazing” self sensing and morning prayer results.

Once you’re in the psychological state of currying favor, the group has taken your psyche hostage, and you are nicely positioned for the next step in behavior control.

Hassan writes that cults always have authoritarian chains of command.

“School” positioned its “teachers” as those who have been “doing the work longer”; they “know better”! Their “help” is “above” the “level of life”. They have refined their vibrations and are floating above the coarse, sleepwalking sea of humanity. I have come to see that humans are wired socially to strive for approval and acceptance. You can see this in children who — for the most part — live to please their parents. That child like need for acceptance works on us as adults, in all kinds of social situations. More on this in the emotional control post. Over time, my wish to please my teachers started to drive and shape my behaviors.

Meanwhile, “school’s” Boston-branch hierarchy lined up: in the bottom tier, “school” coddles its “youngest students” giving them a honeymoon period of roughly two years. On the next level, “younger students” answer to “older students”, who are slightly more “evolved” but answer to “sustainers” & “teachers”; next step up, both “sustainers” & “older students” answer to “teachers”; ultimately, in Boston, “teachers” and everyone else, first and foremost, answer to Robert. The phrase “You need to ask Robert” echoes down the hallowed halls. After leaving I learned that Boston is merely the inferior satellite branch; the real power lies with Sharon at corporate headquarters in NYC. More on this in the information control post.

The longer my tenure, the more “school” coddling was replaced by humiliation and admonishment; “teachers” increasingly employed this brand of “help” through the enlightened secret “ideas” — “you are in a lazy set of I’s“, or “you are in self will”, or “you are in internal considering”, “you need to do what *it* doesn’t want to do” blah, blah, blah. (Note the special loading of language). They were doing us favors, exposing our “chief weaknesses”, holding us to “higher standards” than those who are “sleepwalking” through “only life” without the “help” (cough). Those who weren’t “working on themselves”. Humans — I have learned — will avoid humiliation like this at all costs. It is a very powerful social engineering tool. Humiliation is an effective way to demand obedience. More on this in the emotional control post.

Hassan writes, “Obedience … is the most important lesson to learn” . Once the cult has established dependence obedience follows naturally.

The longer my tenure, the more the requirements stacked up. The vines tightened and wired around my “only-life-things” and shaping my behaviors — “private” phone calls between myself and my “sustainer”, or “teachers”, or other “essence friends” increased with each illustrious task, as well as “invisible” meetings, “help” and demands. My innocuous lies increased exponentially in concert with each new demand, wedging between myself and family and friendships, etc. Secrets devoured and chocked out more and more of my life.

Once sufficiently indoctrinated and deemed “ready” by the powers-that-be, soul manufacturing requirements increasingly included “making new friends” and inviting them to try the “free 5-week experiment”. “School’s” “invisible” agenda started dogging my life. I filtered every interaction through these questions: does the person standing behind me at the CVS, or in the bank, or in my yoga class (etc.) have a “magnetic center”? Is he, or she, a fellow “essence  friend” seeking “THE WORK”? Would he or she benefit from “school”? Should I be constantly engaging with lost souls to see if they want to try a “free 5-week experiment”? Should I be inviting all of my “only-life” friends to “refine their vibrations” and manufacture souls?

My behavior followed those dictates, my belief system followed the behavior. Cognitive dissonance rattled my psyche, tearing it apart. A battle started raging inside between, starry-eyed believers and inner rebels who simply didn’t want to recruit newbies, hated the whole process, especially the hidden agenda. More on this in emotional control.

Hassan writes that cults discourage individualism. This is where his initial assessment starts becoming more apparent: the regulation of an individual’s physical reality …  control of where they live, what clothes they wear, what they eat, how much sleep they get, what jobs, rituals and other actions they perform …

“School” was patient. It waited until indoctrination had set in before overtly demanding certain things. I was roughly 2 to 3 years into my tenure when teachers started saying that “school” doobies should distinguish themselves as superior creatures, in a variety of behaviors. For example, “school” started instructing us that society had become “too casual and coarse”. As “evolving men and women” we needed to refine our vibrations and dress well. They didn’t provide specifics — only that we should “put some effort into our wardrobes.”

Also, “school’s” started proclaiming that its illustrious schedule should supersede all else. God forbid a “school” doobie should interrupt his/her evolution with a family vacation, or miss a “class” to attend his/her child’s high school graduation. etc. During the holiday season, “school’s” Christmas Party was to trump all things “only life”, including sleep and other only-life things that one might need for good health and optimal functioning.

Predictably “un-schooled” family & friends became concerned, upset & justifiably angry. What is this weird group that you are in and why does it trump our life and relationship? Are you in some kind of a cult? Thus we all turned to “teachers” for “help”. “Teacher’s” doled out prepackaged, predictable and pat behavioral prescriptions, such as …

• Find out what your [NAME RELATIONSHIP HERE] wants and give it to him/her.
• Plan a special event, or dinner, for your unhappy [NAME RELATIONSHIP HERE].

Eventually, “school” brings out this lovely bit of “help”…

• Your [NAME RELATIONSHIP HERE] is jealous that you are doing what you love! Tell him/her that it is none of his/her business!

… because, of course, the un-schooled, only-life, person is unfairly persecuting “school”. (Sounds kinda like a certain Republican presidential candidate, does it not?)

Thus we scrambled around trying to patch up the “school”-inflicted damage by practicing “school”-prescribed remedies; they were, at best, superficial and, at worst, intentionally damaging. The longer my tenure, the more “help” I requested and the more damaging the “help” became. The more I allowed “school” to dictate my behaviors, the faster the cult wheel spun, spewing out its seeds, weeds proliferating exponentially, choking the life out of my lowly “only life”.

Hassan writes, “Each particular group has its own distinctive set of ritual behaviors that help bind it together. These typically include mannerisms of speech, specific posture and facial expressions … Doing these little things helped make us feel we were special and superior. Psychologists call this ‘social proof’.”

Once I left the ranks, I started to recognize the correlation between uttering “school” vocabulary – a.k.a. loaded language — and taking on accompanying inflections, attitudes, tones, postures & facial expressions. I wasn’t familiar with the term social proof, but the extent to which “school rules” had been shaping my behaviors became excruciatingly clear. Trust me, stay in long enough, follow all “the rules”,  your “only life friendships” will end and your “only life family” will be baffled and hurt by your “evolutionary” cold, uncaring and contradictory behavior. You will be both sufficiently indoctrinated & isolated from “the others”.

I have spoken with a number of ex-members from various cults; they all practice a version of behavioral control. Most have to grapple with the embarrassment and shame of allowing some nefarious group to dictate behavior that, when in their right minds, they would never condone. But, when you’re in a cult, you are not in your right mind. When you’re in a cult, you are increasingly under the command of some narcissistic sociopath, and you may not even know it. More on this in thought control.

Lastly,  Hassan writes, “A cult’s leaders cannot command someone’s inner thoughts, but they know that if they command behavior, hearts and minds will follow.”

In my never-ending pursuit to understand how I allowed “school” to shape my behavior, thus sculpting me into a cult cog, I am pulling “school” weeds out of my psyche. I see how behavioral dictates snaked through my emotional and psychological state — a state that justified “the rules”, a belief system that I was lucky to be a member of an exclusive group of superior humans, who pretended to be humble, but were really “operating on a higher level” than other inferior creatures. I was “evolving”. I was “protecting the invisible world” and its “secret & sacred ideas”.  We were “refining our vibrations” and rising above “only life things.” Thus, we needed to behave in a “finer” (gag) manner. All of this was contributing to the betterment of society and humanity!

So … does “school” fit the behavior component of Hassan’s BITE mold? In my opinion, absolutely. But, you have all “had your own experiences of ‘school’ and can draw your own conclusions.”

We’ll explore information control next week.

I’ve started listening and it’s very interesting … I highly recommend it!

http://cultish.org/

Michael C, is this what you were searching for on Saturday?

Everyone else can ignore this post.

When I created this blog, I was unburdening myself of cult secrets. Now, I’ve released my cult days out of the cult closet. Friends know. Family knows. Colleagues and co-workers know. Laying down those burdens benefited me in endless ways; for starters, when you have no secrets, secret groups have nothing to hold over you. In a future post, I will outline the benefits further.

This post is about the liabilities of secret-keeping. “School” secrets damaged my mind, my psychology and my relationships — collateral damage, to be dismissed as “only life things”. Keeping “school” secrets benefits the mysterious Queen Sharon at the expense of everyone else. Ironically, many Boston-branch “students” aren’t told of Queen Sharon. They have no idea that their every thought and breathe is meant to be serve her, everything else be damned.

When it comes to cults, this is standard fare. Cults foster circles within circles, or as “school” likes to call it, “worlds within worlds” …  The outer circles — in “school’s” case, the “younger classes” — don’t know about the mysterious “inner circles”. Many in the Boston branch don’t know about New York. Many in New York don’t know about Boston. The “classes” within these two cities, don’t know about each other. The word is that this cult has a branch in Germany. Who knows how many branches full of “students” that don’t know about each other exist in other “invisible locations”.

This intentional lack of transparency keeps all in the dark about the cult life to come. “Students” are unwittingly participating in a bizarre system of deception, beginning with this requirement:  “it’s very important that you don’t tell any one about this … it’s private — just for you”.  Membership seeds in secrecy.

That secrecy grows like a weed. That first little lie (or, cough, clever insincerity) snakes out and spreads through your life, in concert with the length of your tenure, leaving a wake of damaged relationships behind. Collateral Damage includes Friends. Family. Marriages. Relationships with children. Jobs. Colleagues. Co-workers. After all they are “only life things” …  you know.

All cults require secrecy to greater & lesser degrees. Recently a friend with whom I’d shared my illustrious cult days said: “Secrets are a cancer to our souls and the collateral damage is extraordinary.” 

That’s why I plan to keep spreading the word; this is not just about my little mom & pop cult. The collateral damage extends far beyond. In October, I met a group of mothers whose 20-something children had been sucked into various destructive groups. These mothers were desperately seeking real help (as  opposed to “help”) and finding that resources were few & far between; some of them faced legal threats, efforts to intimidate them into silence, also standard cult fare.

I know some about cults abusing the court system; “school” tried to drag me into some b.s. lawsuit in 2014. When cults employ the legal system to intimidate, the damage ripples out, impacting communities, societies, and tearing away at the fabric of democracy and free speech … paid for, of course, by our tax dollars.

These endless ironies could fill the pages of a very lengthy book. Example after example illustrate how destructive groups, such as “school”, cults, are, essentially, psychological cancer — emotional, psychological, physical malignancies that multiply and spread, leaving a wake of destruction behind. ISIS, of course, is the most extreme example at present.

My daliance with a little cult called “school” (or “the study”, or whatever the latest name) is just one example of a bigger force of destruction: destructive groups that institutionalize and justify lying by placing themselves above civilized societal norms and referring to anything external “only life things”, inferior, therefore expendable. Just collateral damage, sacrificed for the higher cause. Cults. Extremist groups. Human traffickers. Sex Traffickers. The list goes on and on. They all use the same tactics that are seeded in lies cloaked in secrecy and justified by the claim of “sacred knowledge”, “enlightenment” or some such bullshit.

For the ultimate, smelly, irony is that, inevitably, the enlightened “cause” is to make some narcissist rich. Collateral damage is simply to be expected and accepted.

Or not.

It may be February, but it’s never to soon to think about warmer days, as depicted by Mary Oliver’s poem below.

Maybe those of you who are “breaking rules” because you are having doubts about a certain “school”, or “study”, or whatever its calling itself now, will be free of it by May.

I raise my coffee mug to the possibility of your cult-free summer and potential freedom of mind:

THE SUMMER DAY,  by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean–
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down–
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?

Hey, I’m on t.v.! Yay!

This video, comes from the Cable t.v. show, The Song. Songwriter & hostess, Mary Wheelan, interviewed me & Doug Kwartler, the producer of Cult Confessions, the CD. It is the sound track to my story, which is becoming Cult Confessions, The Presentation/one-woman show.

When I left “school” in 2011, I continued to obey “rules” and keep secrets at first; like a good cult cog, I didn’t Google the group or talk about my experience. But the memories constantly looped through my mind. I felt crazy and alone. I broke the “No Internet Research” rule to save my sanity. Various websites and blogs unearthed “school’s” clever insincerity and three things unfolded: 1) my ability to write returned. 2) my mind started reintegrating as uncovering “school’s” not-so-evolved past shed new light on my present-day experience. 3) my cult story wrote itself.

In 2012, I posted this blog, kicking off my personal policy: No More Secrets – cult secrets are a social cancer spreading isolation, depression and tension, damaging relationships and infecting psychology with skewed thinking. Releasing secrets has proven exponentially healing. If it were up to me, all ex-cult members would reclaim their voices, power and lives by speaking out. But victim blame and shame is so prevalent that very few do. Cults continue on luring in people who happens to be vulnerable for whatever reason. They damage and isolate members; the damage ripples out to friends, families, colleagues, jobs, courtrooms, etc.

Speaking out — exposing cults and their secrets — not only heals individuals, it is a public service. And speaking of speaking out, on this blog I’ve never tried to hide my identity; anyone who shared the classroom with me will be able to identify me through the story I’ve told, because it’s true; but I’ve never revealed my identity, either.

The time has come for me to take that risk, because I plan on expanding the public service; I’m trotting Cult Confessions out beyond the virtual world. I’ve piloted this presentation at various private events and — in the spirit of edu-tain-ment, public service and good old fashioned American Freedom of Speech — it’s time to widen the audience with whom I share my cautionary cult tale.

More to come …

A member from the 1985, “school”, in NY which was located on the corner of Franklin & Broadway, is seeking to connect with fellow classmates.

Please ignore that picture of The Haddock, I assumed this former “student” was a Boston person. Turns out he’s a NY person. (Oops, my bad).

If you’re open to it, email me at GSR@cultconfessions.com; I’ll put you in touch via email.

Despite my mistake, this post about, “Somerville school” circa 1980, is still an entertaining read …  The “Secret” East Somerville “School”.

Before launching into this post, I want to say hi to Michael. How’s the cult? Are you “monitoring”? Just stopping by for some lite reading? Or … having doubts? Perhaps we “evil” bloggers, we band of “disgruntled ex students”, are on to something? Perhaps some aspect of this will ring true to you …

Now, about loaded language …

In the hallowed halls, the word overwhelmed was to be immediately dismissed. Bobert told us that there was no such thing — a false construction by lower beings–sleep walking, soul-less slobs, who didn’t have the privilege of being “schooled”. He scrutinized anyone who had the gall to say “I’m feeling overwhelmed“, especially if a cog’s overwhelm interfered with an enlightened “school” project — say, “making new friends”, and/or bringing “new friends” to “presentations”, or lying to local merchants to secure free Christmas trees for the “school” holiday party.

He also said, “confidence is a myth – it doesn’t exist.” We were not to use the word “just”. Essence Friends blared a shameful spotlight on “school” cogs who allowed the word “just” to slip in to a plebeian sentence.  A more “awake” cog would interrupt the poor dear with a pointed “JUST???”

It was ridiculous, even funny, those linguistic infractions. But, trust me, when you are constantly monitoring your spoken language to screen out inferior words, you induce a special, cult-sponsored, type of enlightened naval-gazing — it’s an effective & insidious tool for inducing neurosis and self doubt.

Recently a fellow “disgruntled” and I were “breaking school rules” by talking on the phone without “school” monitoring (God forbid!!!). I admitted to feeling … no, don’t say it … OVERWHELMED. She called it “the O word.” We laughed, realizing that, even 5-years “school”-free, I still hesitate to utter the dreaded “O word”.  I also still actively screen my vocabulary for the word “just” – filtering it out of conversation when I spot it.

These are examples of “school”-loaded language. I have spent five years, writing about, talking about, reading about my cult experience and digging into cultic studies. When I see those verbal viruses still worming around my psychology, I realize how impressionable & mold-able our psyches can be — we’re vulnerable by nature; the lower your esteem and confidence (oh, yea, confidence doesn’t exist … oops) the more vulnerable you are. Remnants o’ cult-hood within, like loaded vocabulary, prove tricky devils; they know how to hide in the shadows.

In his seminal book, Thought Reform and Psychology of Totalism, Robert J Lifton includes loaded language as integral to what he calls ideological totalism — “an extremist meeting ground between people and ideas.”

He wrote: ” The language of the totalist environment is characterized by the thought-terminating cliche. The most far-reaching, and complex of human problems are compressed into brief, highly reductive, definitive sounding phrases, easily memorized and easily expressed …”

Remember … “those are only life things“ “you are in internal considering” “what’s your aim?” “ask for help!” “are you remembering yourself?” “you are in self will” “breaking ‘school rules'” and my personal favorite, “the non-expression of negative emotions“ … etc.etc.etc.blah.blah.blah.

I’m sure you, dear reader, can contribute your own examples. “School” cogs don’t really know what these phrases mean, cuz the “teachers” can’t really explain them, but they are accepted as psyche-scrubbing and spirit-refining enlightened vocabulary.

Lifton wrote: ” … the effect of the language of ideological totalism can be summed up in one word: constriction. He is, so to speak, linguistically deprived; and since language is so central to all human experience, his capacities for thinking and feeling are immensely narrowed.”

Imagine those who’ve spent decades in “school” and worked their way into what is often called the inner circle — those who are “school” married and “school” employed; those for whom even the personal choice to have children, or not, or keep the child she had, was and continues to be dictated by the enlightened leadership (cough). This hijacking of person hood is a practice I call soul murder; even after one departs the ranks, it lurks insidiously, loaded language infecting thoughts, perceptions and impressions.

I believe the only way to purge and heal from this psychic virus, the way to reclaim and own your psyche, thus your life, is to share your story in some way, with other humans, if it’s only one other human, it will help. Problem is that, cults, like cancer, are not things we are inclined to discuss openly. Who among us would volunteer our cult days? Can you imagine saying to a friend, a cousin, a sibling, a parent, “Hey did I ever tell you about the cult that recruited me?” Most are too ashamed — how could I have been so naive? So trusting? So easily duped? With victim blame so prevalent and accepted in society, better to sweep it under the rug.

But not really; there’s nothing more empowering than reclaiming your own experience, by voicing your own thoughts, and generating an inner understanding of how your particular cult used, misused and twisted language, worming into and infecting your thought process, psychological makeup and inner emotional world. It is really key to recovery — because loaded language is at the heart of mind control. And secrecy only lodges it deeply into the darkest recesses, while protecting predatory groups like “school”.

Thus, I strongly encourage you to “break the rules” — take back your birthright and speak out!