Now that we have a President Trump pending, I find myself wanting to widen my focus. When I first started this blog, I did so as a personal healing odyssey: I would tell my story and provide information for those seeking information.

I found my recovery through the writing process and I found other things, too. I found out that my little “exclusive” school, was just a carbon copy of cults around the world. I found that the social dynamics within the hallowed halls were exactly the same as the social dynamics in other cults – Children of God, Scientology, etc. etc. etc. So my campaign widened – I want to expose and address cults of all kinds. I want to do this in service to humanity, as a woman who now identifies as a humanist – someone who believes that all humans have a birthright to every opportunity to develop to their fullest potential. I believe that when societies invest in human potential, we can evolve into great civilizations.

But there’s a problem. It seems that power, control and fear are always at odds with compassion, love and authentic collaboration. Never was this more obvious to me than in this election and I fear that the nation has just elected and given mandate to power, control and fear.

I fear for myself, as a woman, as a Jewish person (remember the Jewish star tweet), as a Democrat, as a humanist who believes in diversity and civil rights for all.

After all we now have a president who called Mexicans rapists, claims to be the “law and order” candidate while unarmed African Americans are being killed by police, who said that Megyn Kelly was “bleeding from her where-ever” when she challenged his misogyny. He has a history of sexual assault, bragged about it. He’s proud of himself. The pussy grabber is now our president. What does this say about us as a country?

But what I fear more is my own complacency. When I became aware of the power dynamics in “school”, and I learned that other cults are exactly the same, I started to see them everywhere, politics, too.

I’ve seen and heard all about the social damage, both personal and societal. So my campaign widens again. I’m not sure what that means yet; I’m chewing on it. However, those of us who believe – like me – that ALL men and women are created equal and that we ALL should have every opportunity to grow into our true potential, we need to mobilize and come together, especially now that the orange grand poo ba of narcissism is our president. As a critical mass, we need speak out against racism, misogyny, hate-mongering and all that goes against American ideals, and is now represented by the incoming Trump administration.

Those who oppose the Trumpster are now told they are “stupid” and “misinformed” by the Trump Trolls. Trolls  have learned well from Daddy Trump and believe that if they repeat his lies enough, lies magically become truth. Thus the trolls are out there lecturing his critics: “get over it.”  They say. They are gloating about the big “win” (cough, can’t wait to see how America “wins”) and reveling in the national shock and dismay, proudly laughing at over half the country. Like Daddy Trump, they pride themselves in being assholes.

Kelly Anne Conning-her-Way, Trump’s Spinster-in-Chief, is claiming a mandate. If you buy into this bullshit, you are letting that camp gaslight the country. Don’t let the insults, the vitriol and the dismissal of over half the country – Clinton’s lead in the popular vote: 2.5 million people and the over 40% didn’t vote – silence you. We still have free speech. Let’s use it! As far as I know we still live in an imperfect democracy: let’s make sure the Trump camp doesn’t turn it into a plutocracy – rule by greedy rich people.

The United States of America is in danger of becoming the Cult o’ Trump. As fore-stated, I don’t know exactly what this means for me, except that I will be using this forum as a platform for my free speech, to speak out against civil rights violations.

That’s what I can do right now. More to come …

About guest posts: sometimes fellow “disgruntled(s)” contribute blog comments that deserves prominence. These comments are either informative, OR are too entertaining to pass up. Today’s guest post, brought to you by my fellow evil blogger’s site, is both! You see, Robert et al neglected to mention corporate headquarters in NYC to my “class” –oops. (Yes, Virginia, Boston is merely the satellite cult  — sorry).  When one day a strange, round, overly-made up, woman, swooped in unannounced, and Robert escorted her front and center, and sycophants scurried to cater to her, and “older students” asked for her “help”, and she responded in jumbled non sequiturs, and wide-eyed recipients murmured, “Thank you, Sharon”, in hushed tones, those of us not-in-the-know watched in bewilderment.

The Sharon-Show trounced through early in my tenure. I almost quit and wish I had. Some “privileged” Boston-branch attendees pilgrim to NYC for her super-evolved “instruction.” For a peek into the inner workings, see below. Ready to throw open the curtain? Visit:Standing Up To Sharon Gans. In the meantime, I personally found the below missive horrifyingly funny, AND informative:

The beginning of class was something we all endured before we slowly phased out into the mind set of “oh god when will this be over so I can go home? It’s so late, I’m so bored, Oh dear Lord is Chris going to ask a question NOW at 11:20? That guy has no sense of the room.”

One recommendation for getting onto coffee service was this: It gave you an excuse to walk around and do stuff — to leave the “magic circle” and fiddle with things in the back. No one bugged you if you were on coffee service. You had a little aura around you that suggested that you were on “teacher business” and if anyone messed with you, they could be in trouble. You could even leave the space, saying we were low on chocolate, or almonds, and go down to the deli.

Now, a few others could also leave – I know one woman who regularly left for about forty five minutes every week to copy sustainer reports. Yes, Virginia, your sustainers, or “FRIENDS”, as I heard they call them now, write up reports on your conversations to give to the teachers – they are divided into updates on your three-story house, and on your three centers, and anything else that might be interesting or useful: “Pamela finds the no drug rule to be silly and says she is still snorting coke at parties”; “Bobby says he wishes he could date Mary (not you, teacher Mary.)”.

The next week, or month, Pamela may find herself on the hot seat, grilled about her lack of respect for school and its powers and “rules” – she may feel guilty and slowly confess to her coke use. Bobby may get a sudden call and be asked if he would like to date anyone in school he’s been such a good boy – and soon Bobby and Mary are announcing their wedding – weeee! Or…..not. At any rate, I digress …

Coffee service is a bitch. Don’t do it. The only way to quit once you’re on is to have a baby. You are constantly being upbraided for not having good meals when the budget is ridiculous and the food requirements are antediluvian: this one doesn’t like chicken and that one is allergic to mushrooms – once you’ve gotten through all of them, it turns out that the only thing everyone agrees on is turkey breast, and then you get yelled at for boring meals.

Next, you get to make coffee and little plates and wash ugly mugs – you get to go up to the teachers during class and listen to their drink orders. Most of them drink strong alcohol. At one point there were about six teachers spread across the front, and another four guys as “tits” — teachers in training. The tits wanted to be worshiped too – they wanted recognition and power, so they began asking to be fed dinner and have drinks and coffee and little plates brought to them as well. Hubris! Annoying! No tips! And no budget increase.

We were told, “In school all things are possible – you should be able to feed ten people on the same amount of money as six – turkey is cheap”. Another note about coffee service – it will cost you money. And you have to take taxis with the food and stuff, and for some reason, they wanted you to buy Sharon’s God-awful hazelnut decaf at the Jefferson Market, which had terrible coffee, but she doesn’t understand food, so the next time she criticizes your cooking, please know that she is a peasant. I can’t even smell hazelnut without getting sick to my stomach – my last trigger.

Yes, coffee service has many downsides, but ladies (and gentlemen? Really? I hear in Boston a man dominates the cooking, but that’s the only thing he ever does in, or for school) – Ladies, it will get you a break from all the whining and posing, from the abuse of your comrades and the embarrassment of listening to the pomposity and ignorance of the people Sharon has appointed to guide you.

Good Afternoon, Readers:

I just visited my fellow evil blogger’s site and feel compelled to point you to the latest post: Heartbreak

The niece of a long-time NY member contributed the latest post. I have often thought to myself, and said to others, that family and friends suffer the most from cult inflicted damage. They are left scratching their heads, wondering, what happened to the person that I love? How did this person “evolve” into a cold, flat, callous version of themselves? When did someone alive, loving, passionate, caring, generous, curious, full of life, become a flat, empty, propaganda-spouting shell?

Cults leave a wake of destruction in our social fabric. That is why I have made it my business to expose the bizarre, callous and selfish practices innate to each and every “school”. Every cult is the same and every cult inflicts the same damage: stealing lives, killing members slowly by sucking the soul and life out of them. Tearing apart families. Ruining people – stealing time, energy, money and chances for them to realize true potential.

I have too much to say about this topic – it may turn into a series of posts. I inflicted pain on my family and friends. Sometimes my husband will recall some of the crap I spouted out at him. Interestingly, I don’t remember saying, or doing, many of the things he reports. Yet, I know his accounts are true, because the stories are always true to “school” form – in my illustrious “school”-coma, I touted the party line.

When I finally confessed my cult days to friends (who, thank God, stuck it out with me through those weird five years) they said things like: “I was wondering what was going on … why you were so busy … so distant… so flat … so unavailable … why you were acting so strangely.”

How shocked was I to realize that the “invisible world” is actually very visible, as I emerged from the cult coma. But that shock is part of the recovery. I had no idea how isolated I’d become from them. I was surrounded by an invisible prison of silence and deception.

Un-“schooled” family members have contacted me over the years — some who hail from the lineage of “school” leadership. They share stories that I know are true, because they echo “school” dealings from the past (the sins of the fathers are visited upon future generations, Robert). The strategies are distinct –very– obvious. I always feel tempted to share those stories as a cautionary tale – but I don’t want to throw salt into wounds. I want to honor confidentiality. I know it’s painful and courageous of them to share these stories with me. I would never reveal the stories unless they specifically gave me permission.

Thus I’m not at liberty to share details. But please trust me: “school”, these people, this group, they, have no more humanity. They/it only care about you in so far as siphoning your bank account and getting some slave labor. It’s cult culture, take as much as you can until you suck someone dry. Run away as fast as possible. You owe them NO EXPLANATION. NOTHING. As, true to cult form, they will try every manipulative strategy and guilt trip possible — trust me, it’s only b/c they need the income.

Last week I had lunch with a woman whose adult daughter got sucked into a cult. I’m happy to report that the daughter is out, but the healing is a long, grinding process. There are children involved. The mom is tenacious and smart and determined.  I have met several mothers like this. With very few resources for families, they continue to fight for their loved ones.

There’s too much to say about this … so I’m gonna stop myself and have a day. And feel grateful that my life is “school”-free and I came out relatively unscathed.

When I was a kid, my secular and academic family would hike on Yom Kippur. As non-observant Jews, we created some rituals around some holidays, but they fell away over the years. Yesterday, I returned to the hike and took myself to the Boxford State Forest.

I like the idea of reflecting on atonement and forgiveness. I’m not a forgiving person and I am suspicious of those who claim to be forgiving — much easier said, than done. In theory, I understand that forgiveness is freedom. In my rare better moments, I’ve experienced that freedom. Most of the time, I wonder what forgiveness would feel like.

I did not sort out forgiveness yesterday; but I did accept the woods as my temple. I got to unplug from all the noise (including this unbearable presidential campaign) and observe this holiday in a way that resonated as authentic and true to my history and beliefs.

Since my little “school” dalliance, I, personally, feel that I can’t trust, or join, any organized religion. Humans are too fallible, too irresponsible with power. We are too easily intoxicated by it. I’ve seen too many religions being used as excuses for abusive behavior (including evangelical “Christians” justifying their support for a presidential candidate who has repeatedly demonstrated himself as a serial sexual predator). The hypocrisy is too much for me. It makes me furious.

If I want to connect to God, I can simply walk out my front door and watch the leaves change colors, or the sunset paint the sky.

I’ve spoken with many ex-cult members who call their experiences spiritual rape — including my “school” mates.  Yes cults are spiritual rapist – taking advantage and sullying the best in their members, much like the misogynist pig who is trying to bully his way into the Oval Office. I still don’t know about forgiveness; I do believe, though, that it’s possible to reclaim and heal your spiritual or religious practice, what ever that may be.

“School” claimed that we humans are born soul-less. Without “school” — allegedly — we remain soul-less. Never fear, though, you can manufacture a soul if – and only IF – you sign the dotted line, hook an I.V. drip into your bank account to feed the queen’s retirement funds, til death do you part, disregard your family, friends, thoughts, emotions, needs, hopes and dreams for the illustrious “aim” of recruiting others who will do the same. If you prop up her staged presentation of “evolved woman”, you, too, might, manufacture a soul (no guarantee) . If you don’t, you simply live out your days as an empty shell. “School” gropes spiritually, whereas Drumph grabs and gropes with his tiny hands — as proclaimed proudly in the audio tape released last weekend.

Yep, folks. This is the “school” version of spiritual rape and every cult spins a different tale, but perpetrates the same violation. So for ex-cult members, reclaiming your spiritual practice is a crucial aspect of recovery; when a predatory group hijacks you — mind/body/heart/spirit — it’s important to reclaim every facet of your true identity. No outside “source” (as Robert used to call “school”) can dictate your relationship to God.

“School”, which was “The Theater of All Possibilities” and, before that, The Everyman’s Theater:

I stumbled across this interesting tidbit of cult history, while searching for something else: a play bill for sale – for a mere $125, this snippet of 70s-cult memorabilia could be yours!!!  Look closely, you’ll recognize some names.

Here’s the link: http://www.abaa.org/book/912324069

I found the write up particularly interesting … here’s some info about the illustrious and enlightened “school” days of yore:

“Everyman Theater, San Francisco. [1973], Eight-page program, about the size of a passport with dull green covers, attendee’s name written in as with a passport, accompanied by the signature of the ticket seller (Jack McRitchie), and a rubberstamp that one can imagine being applied with a flourish at the time of purchase. The Everyman Theater was a front for a Bay Area cult group led by Alex Horn and his wife Sharon Gans. The group, based on the philosophies of George Gurdjieff, would invite attendees to stay after the show for meetings, then to attend additional study groups, and before they knew it they could have the luxury of paying to toil on the communal ranch in search of spiritual liberation. There was a series of exposés of this group in various San Francisco publications of the late 1970s. This booklet does not mention anything about beatings, scheduled pregnancies or farm labor, but it does list all the performers and production staff, with a Note from the Director about the deeper meanings of William’s play. Horn and Gans are listed as producers.”

Isn’t that inspiring.

Once upon at time, I made a decision to keep politics separate from this blog. I likened “School” spin to the spin of one the dominant political parties. A reader took offense and I decided that, since this blog is about cults, which recruits Democrats, Independents and Republicans equally, it wasn’t worth treading on landmines.

However, this presidential election is so over the top, that I’ve decided to break my own rules. Why ? Because every time Trump opens his mouth, he displays the characteristics of a sociopathic, narcissistic, cult leader. Let me count the ways:

1. Cult leaders lie. Cults are built on deception, just like Trump’s campaign. You know when Trump is lying, because his lips are moving. But he characterizes HRC as “a liar”.
2.  Cult leaders do and say heinous and abusive things and then project their sociopathic behavior on to others, most typically an opponent. For example, after years of, championing the ridiculous and racist birther movement, Trump declares: Obama is an American citizen, period. And that HRC is (of course) responsible for the birther bullshit — as if we didn’t notice Mr. Trump offering Obama the produce your birth certificate and I’ll make a big donation to some charity deal (funny, b/c Drumph never really follows up on promised donations, but that’s another post, for another day).
3. Cult leaders are great at deceptive marketing, pitching one thing and delivering the opposite, for selfish financial gain: as is well known and documented, a fair number of ex-Trump University  students are suing the school for fraud. Additionally, Trump is well known for hiring and then bilking contractors. Of course, Trump accuses HRC of being “crooked”. It’s a catch-phrase of his campaign.
4. Cult leaders feel that societal laws and expectations of decency don’t apply to them. In fact when confronted on various and frequent infractions of law and decency, cult leaders can’t compute them – the presiding notion being: what do those lowly things have to do with evolved, entitled beings, like me. They feel that they are royalty and should be treated as such, by everyone. Trump regularly disparages, insults and degrades minorities and women. Then, when confronted, he denies what he’s done; saying things like “that was a joke”, or “I never said that.” In fact, at times he pouts like a child when people expose his heinousness — saying “it’s not nice”.

   
   

   When Megyn Kelly confronted him on calling women “disgusting” and “fat pigs” — i.e. doing her job as  a reporter — she was ” … not nice” (poor little Donald). In fact, Drumph went on to say that she was ” … bleeding out of her … where-ever” … Oh, yea, but that was a joke.

   When asked about federal discrimination lawsuits over housing during the debate, Trump’s only response was that he was proud of himself for 1) having properties in both New Jersey and Palm beach; 2) not admitting to discriminating against blacks, in NJ, 3) in Palm Beach (where people are “very rich”), holding back from discriminating, when he could have —  I love irony and this is classic: only a racist would tout those things — clearly racists attitudes — as “accomplishments”. It’s apparent that he sees nothing wrong with discrimination. He’s, in fact, proud of himself for not discriminating.

   Lets move on to women, because no where is this more screamingly apparent than his behavior and attitude towards women: Trump’s true color were exposed yesterday when someone released a tape of him bragging about grabbing “pussy”. Add this to a growing list — fat shaming; the slut shaming; cheating on spouses; calling his own daughter “hot” and seeing nothing wrong with “wanting to date her”. And of course the newest revelation: it’s o.k. for Howard Stern to call his daughter, Ivanka, a “nice piece of ass” – or whatever it was. But, of course, this is just “locker room banter” – humor. How many ways can I say this: Trump is an asshole.

5. Part two of the laws of society don’t apply to me: Trump feels entitled to withhold his tax returns from the public. Therefore when the New York Times does its job as a newspaper and releases his taxes, he spins it as a conspiracy theory against him — a “rigged system” (of course, the rigged tax system has been treating him very well, as we all learned, but that’s another post). Trump feels threatened by facts, therefore will only debate HRC if his statements are not fact checked by the moderator. Ummm. Where to begin … I have never heard a presidential candidate argue against facts and fact checking. Why won’t Drumph release his tax records? What is he hiding? I guess Trump knows that the facts will work against his viability as a candidate.
6. Cult leaders reduce complications of human nature down to catchphrases. They then repeat the catch phrases endlessly, as though repeating them makes them irrefutably true. Trump’s economic plan: America never wins anymore. Blame everything on TPP (don’t mention corporate greed); cut taxes for rich people and get rid of regulation (it worked so well in 2008); Trump’s immigration plan: build a wall; send Mexico the bill (not gonna happen and everyone — I mean everyone — knows it); ban Muslims from entering the country (… freedom of religion, anyone?)  Trump’s National Security plan: send more American troops to Iraq and Syria; Russia won’t go into the Ukraine (oops, because Russia is already in the Ukraine) … for everything else: Obama and by proxy HRC have “ruined this country … just visit the mid-West … you’ll see”. That’s pretty much it.
7. Cult leaders have surrogates that take on their voice, characteristics and behaviors. We saw Pence use Trump bullet points quite calmly in the recent VP debate — he couldn’t defend his boss, but he could further the message: the country is imploding! Immigrants are dangerous! HRC hid emails! Pence managed to spout out bullshit, while looking presidential (which, apparently, didn’t bode well with his boss, who doesn’t like it when surrogates look better than him). Bill Maher had one of Trump’s economic advisors on his panel recently. Just like his boss, the dude couldn’t let anyone else on the panel finish a sentence, especially the women. He would interrupt as soon as someone was exposing Trump’s BS, to spin it back to Trump bullet points: the country is imploding; our economy has been ruined by Obama; black Americans are living in war zones; blah, blah, blah.
8. Cult leaders have adoring followers who take on this fantasy world and defend it, no matter what. Trumpeters know he’s lying when he says he’s gonna build a wall. They support him for tweeting insults between 3:30-5:30 a.m, aimed at a former Miss Universe, like the junior high school bully who has been up all night stewing over a recent humiliation, and can’t stop himself from behaving in a manner undignified –at best– for anyone, let alone someone over the age of 9; let alone someone running for president, saying “He has a right to defend himself.” They seem o.k. to elect a president with the maturity level of a pre-teen boy, the bully on the block.
9. Cult leaders live in a self-fabricated fantasy world and then expect everyone to cater and prop up that fantasy.

Trust me, propping up Trump’s fantasy will not “Make America Great Again”. It won’t help you. It won’t help me. But he’s sure to make America work for him, just look at what he gains to benefit from his tax plan.

All of this is to say – please don’t stay home this November: women, African Americans, Latinos, let’s please keep the orange narcissist out of the White House.

This fascinating video documentary, produced by The Atlantic, not only interviews ex-members of now defunct cult EnlightenNext, but Andrew Cohen, ex-leader, who called his “teaching”, “evolutionary enlightenment”.

How Well-Meaning, Intelligent People End Up in a Cult

Interestingly, Cohen sat down with The Atlantic and admitted that his ego took the wheel; he says that he’s apologizing to ex-members. Is it possible that an ex-cult leader could sincerely be taking responsibility for the damage he inflicted? In this particular interview he can’t bring himself to admit to hurting others; but he does say he’s traveling the world to ” … sit down with people who feel that they’ve been hurt.”

In turn, the ex-members interviewed spoke, without blame or vitriol, about mystical experiences, glimpses into cosmic knowledge, experiences of a hypnotic state, thousands of hours prostrating themselves and repeating the following phrases:

To be free is to know nothing …

To be free is to be no one …

To be free is to have nothing …

…and worshiping a picture of Andrew, i.e. “God”.

Cohen describes a bit about his own spiritual search and the teaching that he claims “unfolded” when people started to follow him. He describes how he started to believe his personal feelings were “objective truths”. He admits to making “a lot of mistakes.”

One ex-member describes the exit process this way: ” … it’s got to feel like coming out of prison and entering the world again … everything was amazing.”

Both ex-members, and ex-leader, admit that they don’t really understand what unfolded.

I admit that I am dubious of Mr. Cohen’s apologies as sincere. But it is this type of dialogue that will shed light on this bizarre and damaging phenomenon called cults. I hope that he is – in fact – able to take responsibility for his hurtful, ego-driven, actions. Maybe Cohen can begin contributing to healing, reconciliation and solutions. In the meantime, though, this video is a start and a worthwhile 20-minute viewing.

How Well-Meaning, Intelligent People End Up in a Cult

I love fall and it’s feeling like fall, here in the Boston area. So happy almost fall and … I want to quickly address a few things:

1) first and foremost, thank those who contributed to the crowdfunding for Cult Confessions: the CD! I now have enough $$$, to finish the recording and producing and get this thing out.

2) I will be piloting Cult Confessions: the Presentation! for feedback, discussion & suggestions on 12/11. Please let me know if you’re interested in attending the pilot run.

3) a fellow evil “disgruntled ex-student” observed  “school” recruitment activity in Central Square, Cambridge recently — just a couple of essence friends, out to “make new friends”, probably hanging out in front of 7 Stars Bookstore, accosting random people on the street with some kind of “book project”, or such. We don’t know the details, but I’m sure it’s just another version of the same old tactic: fabricate a reason to engage a stranger in conversation. Pretend like you’ve just met a “new friend” and obtain contact info … pursue, patiently. Anyway, Boston-branch “disgruntled(s)” might want to be on the lookout.

4) A fellow “disgruntled” & “ex-classmate” told me recently that he plans on spending Christmas in Paris, France. I said, “What a shame when you could be in Billerica, planning a Christmas party! Finding Robert the perfect chair; ignoring your family, while you squeeze Christmas party plan and prep into every moment in between work & ‘class’, to the detriment of everything else.”

When we left the hallowed halls, we ruined our lives! I could be cleaning houses, scrambling around on a never-ending job search, failing as a barista and getting divorced right now. Instead, my marriage is intact; I’m recording a CD, writing a book, loving my work & life. What a shame. Did I say what a shame, yet?

I would really love to hear other stories of such post-“school” doom & gloom … what happened to you when you cut yourself off from “the source”?
Most of the ex-“students” I know started to thrive. That’s not to say it has been easy; but it is to say that we “needed ‘school'” like we need a bullet in the head.

Ok, done now. Thanks for reading and I wish you a happy Friday! GSR

Here’s the scoop: 2 days, $1215 to go … is that possible??? The good news, looks like Sunday, 10/16 will be the next pilot run of Cult Confessions – I will confirm, asap. Anything you can kick in will serve as *admission* so to speak. Here’s the link: Cult Confessions: The CD!!!

Those of you who’ve donated already, and know you want to attend and participate in a feedback/discussion group, please let me know via comments, or email: gsr@cultconfessions.com.

Otherwise, I hope that you’re enjoying your weekend! Esther